has been in his hse for a few nites ler.
i wasnt reali happi this few days.
becos of work and babii.
lets talk about my work first.
i wanna resign ler ba.
soon after cny.
too busy even to have a comfortable lunch.
i rarely ate more then 5 spoonsful of food this few days.
till now didnt even have my dinner.
cos jus now went home to take my clothes for my work tml.
but mum didnt cook.
wanna take at least my honey stars to come babii hse and eat.
but both mi and him forget to take.
haix.
hungry!!!!
i somehow misses my hse.
my bed and my family.
jus a few days onli niehx bendan!!
haix.
but jus couldnt imagine when i am married and needa move out.
regradin mi and babii.
since the previous matter.
i don think we have any improvement.
he gave mi a feeling.
he doesnt love mi like he use too.
and i am getin sick and tired to say ler.
we are so close now but yet seems so far away.
i don seems to noe alot about him.
veri close strangers ba.
he needs mi but he doesnt love mi.
can say i am thinkin too much.
but this is all the feelin he gave mi.
i am too weak to think olso.
i hope i could rest.
haix.
couldnt reali sleep well this few days.
babii don like it when i wanna slp early.
what to do.
i am like a gd doggy listenin to her owner.
okie la.
veri tired.
but cant slp.
needa wait for babii to slp tgt.
*-xuemin-*
*-bibii-*
babii not wit mi tonite.
somehow feel veri lonely.
i got use to life wit him everyday.
but reali donnoe how.
waitin for his call now.
meanwhile jus update what has happen jus now ba.
i was cryin to him.
i didn noe is so hard for mi to hold back.
babii hug mi and ask mi why.
i didnt tell him.
was in his arms for quite long.
i jus need that.
thx babii.
now he is gone and i am alone cryin to myself.
finally i can cry out lerx.
was actualli holdin back quite long.
i even tried to treat him veri cold.
i am sorri babii.
i don mean i don love u.
my stomache was feelin quite uncomfortable for a feel days lerx.
i hope nth is wrong ba.
he will never noe how much i needed him wit mi.
okie la.
i am tired ler.
gonna slp ler.
gd nite babii.
for the first time i am not kissin u gd nite in ur arms.
gd nite to myself.
*-xuemin-*
*-bibii-*
ystd nite went for movie.
red cliff 2. with iko and shin.
when we was in the cinema.
mi and babii was talkin about how mani show we have watch tgt.
this is not what i wanna say.
what i am reali upset in is he never once kept those tickets that we have watch tgt.
ystd was our fourth movie tgt. but he claim that we onli watch 3 movies tgt by now.
and worst till.
he was keepin another pair of tickets that i think was watch by him and his ex gf.
as to so mani thing has happen.
babii.
can u pls tell mi how much u love mi.
i neber feel so important in ur heart.
the first case.
u was keepin ur ex gf and the garlx that u like her and waited for her for 8 yrs.
the second case is u are like a heater to mi.
third is this.
how would u wan mi to believe u love mi.
u jus need mi.
but that anit love.
ystd nite when we was ready to slp.
i will never gonna ask u qn animore.
cos u will never gonna tell mi anithing.
what the hell we had said before no hidin from each other anithing.
and anithing we mus say.
this is all i got.
i reali feel like cryin.
u keep on sayin that i have change.
i don love u and i don dote on u.
becos u never will think of how u are treatin mi.
i never ask anithing from u.
i jus wan u to be serious.
i jus need u to be trueful.
i jus hope that u love mi.
action speaks louder then words.
and now ur words lost to ur action.
what have u got to explain.
i am olways lsitenin to u, i have neber done this before.
i am veri stubborn but to u i am reali a gd garlx ler.
i am still mi.
no changes in mi at all.
but ur words sometimes reali hurt mi alot.
have u ever thought i might feel sick and tired about all this.
i am not a garlx that i will complain alot.
for the ones i love i will do whatever it take to make them happi, even i myself are not.
my first serious relationship is broken up by a garlx
and i have made myself promise i will neber be one.
but sorri, i did.
i am a third parties before.
but ppl won noe how a third parties reali suffer.
i didnt complain either.
i have been in a relationship wit bastard!
and nobodi noe how silly am i to trust him.
i have been in relationship that he has been hidin an important thing from mi.
that he has divorce wit a son.
i don wish to noe.
but i jus wan everybodi to be happi.
i never mention.
but i reali don wanna work in that company ler.
i didnt say how not feelin i am now.
this few days.
suddenly wish for jayda wit mi.
maybe she might understand mi.
i don wan anibodi now wit mi.
give mi a reason to believe u ba.
i cant feel anithing now.
reali nth.
what u wann mi to do?
i am still waitin.
hopin u will be trueful to mi one day.
even if u say u don love mi.
i jus wan to noe babii.
*-xuemin-*
*-bibii-*
hmmm.
alot of thing happen.
work!!!
home!!!
but luckily i have babii around wit mi.
jayda wanna meet mi last few days ler.
but i didnt manage to meet her instead.
i hope she can get over the tupid guy that damn freak mi off.
but neber mind.
as long as she is happi.
i will be by her side.
not workin today.
abit not feeling well.
babii wit mi here in my hse.
jus came back from polyclinic.
and now he is slpin.
i am tired olso.
tml on mc again.
all i wan is babii by my side.
noe what.
babii u are my everything=)
u don have to dobt ur place in my heart.
cos is irreplacable.
lurve u lurve u and lurve u.
everything about mi is u.
i am looking at you and my heart love the view.
hahax.
okieokie la.
mum cookin curry and lala which i asked her to cook.
hahax.
finally qi and qun comin home to eat but jie moved out ler.
she had a quarrel wit mum.
never mind la.
everything gonna be okie.
*-xuemin-*
*-bibii-*
firstly.
happi first month anniversary to babii.
i prepare a dairy since the first day when we are tgt for him.
is all about us and how we spend everyday.
i hope he like it ba.
but i still keepin it:p
hahax.
hmmm.
this one month.
fast but not fast.
slow but not slow.
and we both did change ba.
every tgt.
donnoe is a gd or bad thing.
but i will try not to let him have that feeling.
cos i will neber take him for granted!
today was quite a tired day.
afternoon went to ikea again wit his mum, sis and cousin.
then 6 plus went back to my hse and went to buy new yr stuff wit my parents.
damn angry about my two sis.
neber pay for anithing neber mind.
but not even to come and help.
wth!!!
luckily babii did.
thx alot babii.
and sorri to trouble u:)
then back to babii hse again.
okie la.
i goin rest ler.
tired!!
gd nite:)
*-xuemin-*
*-bibii-*
