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bibiixuemin.blogspot.com




Monday, April 20--12:43:00 AMY

since my last post.
i cry twice infront of babii.
the first time happen last monday or tuesday.
i teddy bear hug him.
ask him don leave mi alone.
i told him i feel scare and unhappi.
and he did not leave mi for this few days.
but is till ystd was the sec time i broke down.
he wanna hug mi and i cry askin him to leave mi alone.
then didnt talk to him till today afternoon
i was thinkin to myself.
is babii someone that i could seriously spend the rest of my life wit him.
thinkin of the time he playin lans wit his frenx.
thinkin of how happi he is when gets to play his games.
thinkin of how he look when he is slpin.
how free he look without a streeful job.
how he tell mi he needs his own time wit his frenx.
how he spend his whole day at home.
or even how much he wana be so free.
he never willingly touch my stomach to talk and feel the lil baby in mi.
he never wanna mi to mention anithin about the baby.
he don wanna read my blog to see how much i wrote about the baby.
he neber wanna have anithin to do wit the baby.
he told mi he love the baby.
he told mi how much he don wanna kill the baby.
he tell mi he jus wanna see mi happi.
but to mi u are my world the lil baby is my new love.
everybodi except him asked mi to keep the babii.
everybodi waitin to see my lil baby.
even ivy called mi herself tellin mi babii is wit mi forever.
but onli u.
u told mi that we cant afford.
we can have lots of babies in future.
u promise mi that how much babies i wanna have u will allow mi.
but abortion is veri dangerous not onli to the babii but mi too.
i may not have babies in future.
i may suffer depression.
alot of thing that effect mi alot.
i am not scare.
but i jus scare to lose the baby.
is a fate for mi to have it in this age.
the baby is so innocent.
that i am sorri to him.
he jus like his father to be around.
when his father is around he will finish up whatever thing that is inside the plate.
when his father is around he will make mi slp early and wake up lates.
when his father is around jus feel so safe
my lil baby is like askin mi.
"why daddy doesnt seems to love mi"
how will i be able to answer him.
but i made a veri hard decision.
i wanna babii to leave mi.
and i will have the lil baby all by myself.
i know babii like what he have now.
i noe babii don wanna be so stress becos of this thing.
i let him go.
but i told him.
my baby in mi needs mi to let him grow up.
so no matter what.
i may be poor, i may be alone.
i may be veri tired.
but i noe when i get to see my lil baby smile i will feel alot better.
he will be my greatest motivation.
is not that i don love u and then i wanna to leave u.
is jus that i love u too much for u to give up ur own life for mi.
i don wanna force u.
never will i wanna be ur burden.
u noe and u understand how much u are love by min babii.
but i hope u make a veri wise choice for urself.
i still wanna let u go no matter what.
but wait till u calm down and think.
maybe u will jus let mi and this 4 months relationship go.
i still wanna tell u.
i love u.

xuemin
take mi away








♥ PROFILE ♥

Photobucket
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♥xuemin
♥18
♥her wish to be a mother
♥her wish to have a healthy body now
♥her longed to see her baby
♥her loves for her baby princess=)

Photobucket ♥xuemin
Photobucket ♥BABY PRINCESS(11.7 WEEKS) 20 MAY 2009
Lilypie


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Thanks! : CHER