hmmm.
donnoe why!
baby jayken so active.
makin mi feel so unwell the whole day.
i haben eat medicine yet.
abit weak la.
ppl say i look pale and thinner.
but i did work hard takin care of myself.
derrick web cam wit mi jus now.
he saw my pimples!
laugh and laugh and laugh!
so funni mehx!
humpx.
hahax.
derrick, i miss ya too.
comin back on sunday rite?
i make sure i will give u a big hug!
but bring mi a big present first.
hahax. if not no hughug. lolx.
sam gonna be veri jealous!
maybe goin sam hse tonite then tml goin sentosa.
gonna have lots of fun!
but hopefully i won get myself tanned!
i am gonna apply lots of sun block!
actualli donnoe what will i become after 11 june.
xuemin will never gonna be the same nice garlx animore.
i noe everybodi still hope for a better mi.
but i noe i won ler.
not gonna be a silly women to trys hard jus to be a fool and a toy to a guy.
not gonna be a nice lady who can accept guys fauth.
not gonna believe in guys words.
not gonna be a cheerful garlx that take everything so lightly till she is being hurt.
not gonna love and dote anione.
not gonna be the one who say sorry easily.
i noe is scary.
but gotto accept that i will never gonna be a fool animore.
onli to my frenx. my family.
i will be gd.
don ever let mi see that bastard again.
i might give him a slap.
i might jus kick his private part and walk away.
or i might jus pour a cup of water over him.
i donnoe.
i hate him.
my baby jayken will never be urs!
u are not even allow to come to his funeral!
not even allow to noe where i were to bury him.
u don deserve to see him.
don even deserve to apologise to him.
baby jayken is mine.
he will be mine forever.
nobodi gonna take him away from mi.
i saw baby again.
we share secret and i promise him i will do it jus for him.
mummy will prove to the whole world that mummy love u alot.
he told mi he like a guy around mi=)
he hope we could be tgt.
but baby jayken.
mummy is not gonna let that happen that fast.
but jus don lose ur way back to mi.
promise mi okie.
we hooked our fingers ler.
i am veri scare to be alone without u.
i donnoe what to do when u are not around.
mummy apologise to u.
i owe u lots!
baby jayken i am sorri.
reali sorry.
u love mi too rite.
then wish mi gd luck to see him fall.
okie.
i have sam daddy and derrick daddy wit mi.
baby don worry about mummy okie.
mummy will do a gd job to make u proud that u belong to mi.
although u look reali alike wit ur daddy.
but mummy will never allow him to take u away from mi.
i will never gonna allow him to disturb or come near u.
he don deserve havin u.
thou i noe i don deserve havin u too.
but at least u noe i love u.
for ur sake.
i drink the herbs medicine.
although bitter, although i neber take medicine.
but i still manage to drink up alone.
sometime even though is tough.
i will jus wipe my tears away jus to endure everything.
jus becos of u mummy learn to become a mummy.
although is tough.
i tried my best lerx.
alone lonely and scare.
mummy manage too overcome.
after everything.
i will do a makeover of myself again.
a new mi to start my new life.
i swear i will make all those bastard who still survive in this world to fall.
i will show it to them what a garlx can do a guy could never be able to do.
give mi 4 yrs to be back standin upright infront of everybodi differently.
jus a 4 yrs i am goin to be successful.
build up my own dreams.
jus wait and see.
i won forget all my frenx.
they are the ones who is wit mi when i needed them the most.
but not jayda.
she dissapoint mi alot thou.
if this is what u called gd frenx.
then i am sorry to say i don need u as much as u need mi.
think about it.
thoughout this few yrs.
the one who is wit u is ur bf or ur new frenx or mi.
but when i needed u.
where are u.
it hurts to say.
i give up ler babe.
i reali give up ler.
i am gonna put u out of my heart like how i put that bastard out and i promise i never gonna be there for u animore ler.
the worst part is u don even feel sorry at all.
never mind ba.
thank to u all i learn too.
goin out for billard later.
sorry sam darling.
donnoe goin ur hse anot.
but if u don mind can pick mi up when i finish playin and i stay at ur hse lorx.
i noe u miss mi.
hahax. lolx.
i so thick skin.
omg.!!!
hahax. nahx.
i jus feel safe when u are by my side.
i got no worries
and jus feel so protected by u.
i am sorry.
i cant give u what u gave mi.
give mi more time.
to find my way back to u.
but of course.
u deserve better!
aniway. jus to let u my sam darling noe that.
i have jus agree to our derrick darling for a romantic dinner when he is back.
hahax.
aniway i find it quite tupid when i am on the phone wit u but bloggin to let u noe.
hahax.
hao ba.
tagg mi!!!!
hahax.
baby jaken haben eat till now.
but is time i feed myself ler.
hungry!
blog when i am free.
i love you=)
xuemin
take mi away
♥xuemin
♥BABY PRINCESS(11.7 WEEKS) 20 MAY 2009
