9_'2'5''25_'6'04 明天和未来；哪一个会先到呢？

Sunday, July 26--10:35:00 PMY

the very first post in my blog is started becos of my baby daddy.
when we was tgt, honeymoon period till when we both stop workin, and when we discover that i am pregnant, unhappi agurement and broke up.
and till now.
is to put an end to this blog lerx.
i don wanna mention anithing else except baby daddy.
in a particular day in nov 2008.
thx to iko and wj i met baby daddy.
that veri first time i saw him.
he was wearin a white blouse and a black skinny jeans wit a pointed tip shoe.
that time he is not that attractive for mi to be impress thou he wore smartly.
but i was still sad over a broken relationship wit a guy that was actualli 11 yrs older then mi, and was a married guy till he divorce wit his wife and finally being tgt wit mi.
we had our veri first meal in pizza hut in cwp.
and went to civic centre for party world.
all i could rmb was he was usin his phone all while.
sitting rite opposite mi and singin alot of jay songs.
of course our first duet song was, 传说。
we didnt talk much that nite but till when we was both left alone cos wj and iko jus gotto walk back to iko hse which is jus across the road.
i actualli wanted to take bus home myself.
but he insist on sendin mi home cos is abit late lerx.
he sended mi to my lift and left home.
although we don have each other contact number, but we manage to have met the second time.
which is planned.
i don realli noe it at first but thx to wj for tellin mi this secret.
baby daddy wanna ask them to meet mi out somewhere=)
lolx.
then they actualli planned to head to mustufa and baby daddy that time was a gambler of soccer!
and he was late cos he was watchin soccer!
but ended up we went to bishun for prawnin.
i didnt reali noe how to prawn cos my "first time"
hahax.
be say he will teach mi. but ended up was watchin soccer!
heard from his frenx that he was abit unhappi cos i was happi chattin wit kl!
but i did go up to him okie!
cos i pass him a can of coke.
daddy rmb ma?
lolx.
and that is when he started to walk back to our groups and join in.
maybe cos soccer over ler ba.
but i was reali happi on that day cos i rmb i was the onli one who manage to prawn alot of prawns.
lolx.
they was all sayin that the prawns are all males.
lolx.
but all the way till 4 or 5am.
and can see that daddy is reali tired.
on that day, the one drivin wasnt him la.
so okie lor.
but same thing, he sended mi back under my blk to my lift.
sweet horx=)
of course, we still no have each other number.
but on that day i was attracted by him lerx.
cos his smile. i seriously in love wit guys wit very deep dimples.
and he has it.
and on the 7th of dec 2008!
hahax.
i was off on that day and was damn borin.
asked iko and wj out.
but at first was busy findin frenx to acc mi.
cos for movie olso not alone wit a couple ba.
but end up iko asked mi not to find.
she say ask junde can lerx.
that was the first time i had his number.
but i didnt contact him first la.
cos i rmb wentin cwp courts wit mum to get my lappi, my itouch, queend size bed for my parent, new washin machine and a innov8=)
we was abit rushin time, but he was gd to come down cwp to pick mi up=)
at first in the car we was both quite quiet ba.
but manage to talk about his family and my family stuff.
hahax.
and i guess that is when we become closer ba=)
we watched "the bolt"
and was enjoyable.
and before the movie wj and him was actualli playin wit the machine to pick up soft toys.
lolx.
cute lorx.
is around 1 plus after we finish watchin.
and we headed to upper seletar there de HANS to eat ba.
hahax.
then same thing.
he sended mi home=)
and under my blk.
when i reach home i send him an sms sayin thx for sendin mi back.
and is where our smses start.
i think we chatted till 2am plus and was rainin.
hahx.
he was still watchin his soccer!
and cos i still don wanna go to bed.
he was quite worri that i might not slp.
so came to pick mi up to his hse.
hahax.
but ehx!
we didnt do anithing okie!
hahax.
he let mi have his bed all by myself.
and his boster.
but he jus have his precious blanket!
hahx.
he slept at his bed chair.
but all the way till 8 am plus.
i think he was awake lerx.
when i open my eyes.
he was switchin on his mum lappi.
lolx.
and i was still lyi on his bed watchin him.
didnt talk much till we watched hot shot tgt.
hahax.
but realise that we could agure alot worx.
all the way till 12 pm plus.
i guess both was tired again.
and headed to bed to slp.
and this time round he was slpin beside mi.
did nth too but i reali do like lookin at him since then.
daddy, did i tell u this?
think no ba.
hahax.
we woke up around 2 plus and was lyin on bed side by side chatin about our relationship=)
and watch tv.
okie. that is the part.
ended up holdin hands ler=)
i didnt reali feel that we were tgt ba.
hahax.
but after we went to eat around 5pm.
he send mi home.
i was sittin infront of my com, not thinkin about him.
but my ex bf.
omg!
daddy! don scold mi horx.
but he was the one sendin mi sms when he reaches home.
ask mi why i didnt sms him.
hahax.
and is then i noe. we were tgt.
and on the 10th was the first day he met my mum, on the 9th is the first day i saw his sis.
cos went his hse eat his sis curry chicken.
lolx!
see! my memorise gd horx.
hahax.
and for the 1st month, second month, and third months was all honeymoon period.
i stayed at his hse more.
i guess 3 or 4 times a week to 6 days aweek till everyday a week.
lolx.
but of course.
he pick mi up from sembawang mrt station after my work and head back my hse for dinner everynite.
sweet horx.
everybody veri envy worx.
and problems started to come when one day he gave mi attitude and say i tied him by myside.
if i am not wrong, aweek before my bday.
but i finally left his side and went back home stay to repaint my room.
and that time both of us are not workin ler=)
hahax.
and i was quite sick that time.
cos is the period when i'm pregnant but didnt noe=)
lolx.
and my bday came.
had a fun nite in hilltop.
babii was the one footin the bill.
so nice thou we was not workin.
and he was drunk on that nite worx!
hahax.
and then afew days later we had a big quarrel again till i wanted to break up wit him.
i think this was the sec big fights we have.
the first was when i went back my hse to stay myself
and he didnt reali care much about mi.
went up to his hse and wanted to collect my stuff back.
and is the first time i saw his tears.
and gave him a big hug thou.
end up okie lerx lorx.
hahax.
he gave mi a promise that he wanted mi to be his forever that nite and i guess is the time where i am suppose to have my da yi ma! hahax.
not yet la.
and i guess is that nite that our baby is created ba.
hahax.
cos of his promise. i foolishly agreed.
and is not his forever, is mine forever ruin.
we didnt reali have agurement at first when he noes i am pregnant.
was still so sweet to mi and infact he came to my hse to stay wit mi insted of i goin over.
i love him alot.
and agurement starts where i wanted to tell his parent about baby.
cos what i was thinkin was, even if i wanna go for an abortion, his parent have the right to noe their grand children was here by our side before.
since that nite.
i lost him.
not completely.
but mostly.
he lied to mi alot after that.
till now i still didnt wanna mention it to him that i knew it lerx.
made mi wait at his hse for him till nite and come home to put mi in the cold corners.
but i have decided to end our relationship on 20 may 2009.
i stayed at his hse for 3 days till 20th.
and we stopped contactin lerx.
for more then a month.
and is onli once we met outside a yishun safra.
but totally like strangers.
i lied to him then about abortion.
but onli he didnt noe the turth of i wanna to have this baby alone.
his parent helped mi alot too.
and he was totally in his own world.
when i have to eat all sort of medicine.
and even protected him from being scolded by his and my parents.
cos afterall i did tell them, i wanted this baby all by myself.
his mum wanted mi to let him noe the truth and i did.
and slowly our relationship was back to now.
baby becomes our common topics.
he did thx mi for not hatin him.
and apologise alot for what he has done to mi.
i don mind cos i understand he jus cant accept everything in within a few months.
everything happen so fast.
but i swear that my love for him till now wasnt about baby.
i jus love him so much.
a few post earlier.
i have mention i wanna put an end to everything.
and yes, after today i stepped out of his hse.
thou i cried when i hug him jus now in the afternoon.
and i let him talk to baby princess.
smilin and playin wit him.
i actualli wanna tell him i love him.
but afterall i am aware that i am only a toy to him.
no matter how u were to treat mi.
i still love u no matter what.
is so difficult.
so difficult even to think i am soon gonna leave u like strangers.
baby is never our onli topic.
but is the main topic that agurement recently we had.
daddy, i love u.
we both knew that we couldnt be back to what we are before lerx.
but thx for stayin by myside thou.
i noe u didnt wan mi to stay by myside alone so far from home.
but is some where i feel that i could forget u easier.
i will miss u alot.
miss ur smell, miss huggin u.
miss ur smile.
miss u every single thing.
but i am sorry, this time i give up lerx.
this is the end of my blog lerx.
it started off wit u and i will end it wit u too.
thou i couldnt bear.
but is the best way to let us both free from this lock.
today i wanna use the key that onli u have to open up my heart lock.
to let u free out from now on.
thou our promise for 100 yrs,
i needa learn from now on to live without u.
when baby is out baby will still spend time wit u.
but not mi animore.
the happiest part of my life is when i have u by myside.
the best gift i ever receive is u and baby.
daddy, i reali don like to say but gd bye.

so actualli i am movin to bryan apartment in pasir ris on tuesday.
and tml prince will be helpin to move my stuff over to unpack for mi lerx.
i am goin out lerx.
to prince pub.
i noe i will meet sam.
is time i should face him ler ba.
derrick goin back london tml.
and i will be all alone from tuesday on.
frenx meetin mi is abit difficult.
but prince is is willing to be my driver!
hahax.
5 room flat, and i alone.
hahax.
bryan mum say she will ask her maid to go up to help mi do washin every 2 days.
so nice of her.
hao ba.
i may create another new blog soon.
but onli to closer frenx.
let u all noe ba=)

ilu daddy, pls takkaire lots.
baby love u too=)

xuemin

take mi away