9_'2'5''25_'6'04 明天和未来；哪一个会先到呢？

Wednesday, July 15--3:11:00 AMY

ystd nite around 8pm met apple, jiahui mummy and zoe.
and then joyce and bf came to meet us awhile onli la.
we this few girls is like so bitchy la!
hahax.
chat till 1 plus.
zoe went home earlier.
hahax.
so much things to talk.
i didnt went to the pub ystd nite for the countdown.
cos i was feelin abit tired.
and still quite angry about sam la.
haixyo.
don care him.
he was quite upset about mi not there to celebrate wit him.
hmmm.
but he didnt call mi either.
but he sms mi.
which made mi feel abit bad.
okie la=)
apologise to him lerx.
today woke up quite late.
3 plus.
lolx.
but 4 plus sam came to pick mi up to his hse ler.
but he noes i was not feeling well.
i do reali look abit sick in the afternoon.
havin a bad flu.
and headache.
so around 6 plus.
i told him i am reali not feelin well to attend his bluffet dinner.
he wanted to send mi home.
but derrick sent mi home cos sam cant leave the place.
didnt reali talk to him alot today.
but can see la, he was feeling quite upset.
i did send him a sms sayin i am reali sorry.
but he say he understand mi not feeling well.
veri sweetly ask mi to go home and rest.
but 9pm i went out wit wj, cos he meetin iko to see their dog(christmas)
realise iko seems to be okie now.
is gd that she endure all sufferin ler.
jiayous worx.
then when sendin iko home, we went to pick up zoe.
and then head to ardmarity to meet apple and jiahui again!
hahax.
wj left awhile later to meet ys and yx.
hahax
around 2 weeks nv meet them guys lerx.
jus feel suddenly not as close as we use to be.
but nvm la.
we four girls was chit chattin there olso.
laugh and laugh.
hahax.
was reali quite fun talkin to them la.
hahax.
jokkin about our babies, and alot la.
hahax.
tupid thing is, we are sitting in mac but buyin cup noodles or drinks and titbits from 7/11.
okie, today i didnt okie.
apple,jiahui and zoe.
but ystd i bought mee goreng from the pasa balang.
hahax.
cute rite. hahax.
all the way till 1plus too.
hahax.
so tired.
but cant slp niehx.
hahax.

tml i needa wake up quite early thou.
baby daddy dad called mi today.
he say he asked the uncle to come help mi massage my leg.
cos very cramp and tired la.
hahax.
so nice=)
he say the uncle will be at yishun around 8 plus.
so around 7 plus i will needa wake up to wait for their calls.
gd girl rite.
hahax.
baby daddy mummy and daddy so gd worx.
hahax.
like them so much.
but they olways ask mi to eat fish!
i scare.
hahax.
cos i still feel like vomittin when i see fishes.
hahax.
somemore they like to order fish cooked wit garlic.
hahax.
omg!!!
haahx.
but still eat la.
cos i noe is gd for my health.
my lil percious this few days veri veri norti.
hahax.
but mummy still love u=)
maybe when baby out lerx.
i might not get use to baby not in mi.
cos baby answer mummy by kickin.
hahax.
when they agree, they won kick.
but when they disagree to what u tell them. hahax.
the super kick.
cute rite.
hahax.
guys should be envy that they cant feel ba.
hahax.
i have nv thought of being a mummy before.
but when i noe baby jayken is in mi.
i am actualli veri happi.
not becos u belong to mi and ur daddy.
even without ur daddy, mummy has alreadi decide to bring u up alone.
i noe i am still young.
i noe alot of thing i am still immature.
but since the day i welcome baby, i noe i jus wanna protect baby.
when doctor broke news to mi tellin mi that due to my health.
abortion or giving birth is both a danger to mi.
i cried alone and feel so upset.
till now i am still scare.
cos there is no 100% of mi surviving.
i wanna meet my baby too.
i am tryin jus to think of my future wit baby.
seeing baby grow and eat.
not to think of the negative things.
working hard now but is so tough.
i noe my body la.
being a gd mom is not to learn, is to go through and sacrify.
i will do anithing for this lil life in mi.
thou i don look 5 months pregnant.
but it reali doesnt matter la.
cos baby is still in mi.
rite.
a mother heart nv change.
i failed to be a gd frenx, i failed to be a gd daughter, i failed to be a gd gf.
but i swear and promise.
i won let myself fail to be a gd mummy.
xuemin is so proud to tell ppl that, i am havin baby jayken in mi.
it will nv be a disgrace to mi.
although still alot of ppl pointing their fingers at mi and gossipin about this pregnancy.
i still feel abit upset.
but i don blame them.
cos they have never been through all this alone before.
i am so thxful that all of my relative was still so supportive.
even my elder sis.
she olways love to show that kinda irritating face.
but i noe since young she still dote mi alot.
i still rmb when i am olways beaten up by mum when i was young.
she is olways the one to protect mi.
cos she noe that nobodi love mi at home.
no matter what, she is olways a sister to mi.
i am so so proud to tell everybody i am havin baby jayken, cos of their support.
this is gonna be my one and onli baby.
i have decide to do the op to tie my fallopian tubes to prevent giving birth lerx.
a few reason why ba.
cos i don wanna go through pregnancy alone again.
i don trust guys to stay faithful when women pregnant ba.
the other reason is, i will nv gonna have babies with other guys and neglect my own lil percious.
even if he grow up, i can onli tell him.
mummy reali reali love u alot.
but i will never gonna dote on other lerx.
hahax.
alot of ppl tellin mi not too la.
cos i am still young to be a mummy again.
but i olways tell myself tha i wanna be my partner one and onli.
i needa prove that everybody to mi is one and onli=)
silly mi horx.
but i guess this is the best solution for mi.

sam sms mi, telling mi everything ended lerx.
he say he is tired.
and he miss mi alot=)
i am sorry my dear.
thou i am still angry wit u. but i missed ur bday.
u didnt blame mi either.
thx for being so understand although i am so so xiao qi.
and i haven say this to u.
HAPPI BDAY=)
sorry for my late wishes this yr.
but i hope everything still so gd for u.

now is abit too late lerx.
i left 3 hrs plus of slpin time.
goin slp ler.
tired!
hahax.
nitenite everyone.

i miss you alot.

xuemin

take mi away